The Week That Was, In Verse From a hedge fund manager's bad (poker) bet, to a lobbyist in ostrich leather cowboy boots, to a private equity Philly team, a poetic look at the week's top news stories.
The Week That Was, In VerseBy KEVIN ROOSE
Ethan Miller/Getty Images, Daniel Rosenbaum for The New York Times, Matt Slocum/Associated Press and Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg NewsA poetic look at the top news stories of the week:
David Einhorn’s Poker Loss, a haiku
Greenlight’s card shark chief
Busts like a cheap umbrella
Next stop: homelessness?
Apollo’s Josh Harris Buys The Sixers, a limerick
A big private equity king
Took Philly’s team under his wing
A big playoff rout
Would help him block out
His belly-up Linens-n-Things
Wall Street’s Lobbyist, a cinquain
Starts Finance U.
Tells Congress, “I’m not here
to tell you how to legislate.”
Ode to Bank Earnings Season
Sing, o muse, of EPS and such
Each quarter when the big banks pay their calls
A balance sheet can obfuscate so much
And CFOs can spin tales oh so tall.
But journalists with early-morning shifts
Sit waiting in their cubicles, alert
Until the press release drops from on high
O joy! O glorious day! The spirit lifts!
They happily dig up the earnings dirt,
Then think about what life’s become, and cry.
Weird, adj.: a dictionary in limerick form
Toronto Star - Ontario, Canada
The limerick is poetry, terse,
Oft-rendered not better but worse
By rhymesters ham-fisted,
Their anapests twisted,
Whose doggerel is not worth a curse.
A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme aabba.
There was a young fellow named Menzies
Whose kissing sent girls into frenzies;
But a virgin one night
Crossed her legs in a fright
And fractured his bi‐focal lenses.
━━ n. リメリック ((五行戯詩)).
|belly-up||(adjective) Financially ruined.|
|Usage:||The struggling grocery store was forced to lay off several employees to avoid going belly-up.|